Group wedding of 32 poor couples

Posted on May 15, 2009 by nandan

Chairs for couples

Lok Samiti organized a group wedding of 32 poor couples again this year on 10th of May. It was again a huge event where more than 8,000 people were present. I reached there around 1 o’clock afternoon time and saw all the families preparing for the wedding; people were so excited. Lok Samiti had organized this wedding at a Hanuman Temple near Rajatalab, Varanasi. Definitely the temple did not have enough space for that many people so they had organized everything right behind the temple on an open space. They had a tent where there was a well-decorated stage for couples.

Groom swearing to not ask for dowry in future

Lok Samiti had also arranged food for the people who had come to attend the wedding. The main idea behind organizing group wedding is stopping dowry and helping poor people get married. Since this wedding is registered and everything is organized by Lok Samiti, the groom’s family could not even think about asking for any dowry to the bride’s family because they sign a document saying that they will never ask for any dowry in the future. I really like this idea. All the couples who had got married under these condition were extremely poor that they could not get married on their own.

Bicycles for grooms

Lok Samiti gave bicycles to all the grooms and sewing machines to the brides so that they can be self dependent. Actually a lot of people come to Varanasi city area from the villages to work and the idea behind giving bicycles is that these people can use theses bicycles to come to Varanasi and work. The same idea is behind giving sewing machines as well, that the brides could do some sewing work and make some money. A lot of people from different parts of India and abroad had donated money to make this noble event true. I was responsible to bring some foreign donation.

Groom with traditional wedding dress

Lok Samiti’s members had been collecting donations for the past three months and finally they had collected donations worth Rs. 2,60,000 which included cash, grains, clothes etc. The MP (member of Parliament) from Rajatalab area was the biggest donor who had donated Rs. 66,000 and his wife was second biggest donor who had donated sarees worth Rs. 15,000. The same way several people donated and gifted a lot of different things. I was also told to give something but I could not because of this crazy economy and no work for me. Last year I had donated clocks to all the couples on behalf of Sanjeevani Booti.

The bride

Lok Samiti had appointed a few people in different villages to see if anybody wanted to get married under group wedding and these people went to all the villagers asking about it. First of all they chose the boys and then told them about the girls who wanted to get married. They introduced their families to each other and fixed the wedding. I heard that some of the couples had come from other districts. All the couples were different ages, some of them seemed over 40 and some of them seemed only 15-16 years old, I am not sure about it but Lok Samiti said that they choose only people who are over 18.

group wedding

Lok Samiti had organized the group wedding for 30 couples but at some point it seemed like all 30 couples would not be present there. But at last not only 30, but 32 couples got married. Two of the guests just decided to get married. They chose a bride who was also a guest there and informed Nandlal Master, President of Lok Samiti. Lok Samiti had arranged only 30 chairs, specially designed for weddings, �so they had to bring two normal chairs on the stage and these two other couples also got married.

sindoor box

This group wedding was a little bit different from the usual Hindu wedding. In this wedding couples adorned each other with flower garlands first, grooms put sindoor on the bride’s head, held the�hand with each other (symbol of long lasting relationship), and circled the Hanuman temple seven times instead of the fire. After all these things the families were free to do whatever rituals or other things they wanted. After completing the seven circles, grooms and brides returned to the tent and then families completed other rituals.

looks like over 18?

It was really so fun and interesting. This year’s wedding seemed more liberal from the bride’s point of view because all the brides were told to show their faces. In the last year’s wedding all the brides faces were covered with their saree. Although brides had come up on the stage with their faces covered; later Lok Samiti told all the brides to show their faces. It was so fun to see 32 couples getting married same time. My overall experience was nice but there were a few things that I did not understand; like I saw a few brides sleeping. It seemed like they were not interested in being married or maybe getting married doesn’t mean anything to them.

sindoordan

Lok Samiti is planning to organize a group wedding of 51 couples again next year on the 10th of May. Actually they have chosen this date because it is the wedding anniversary of the MP (Member of Parliament) from Rajatalab area. And since he is always the biggest donor and help for this wedding, they have decided that they will organize this wedding again and again on the same date. I am excited for the next year and hope to see all the brides and grooms excited and laughing and awake.

AIDS survey in Mehdiganj, Varanasi

Posted on May 10, 2008 by nandan

Lok Samiti had organized a group wedding of 30 couples in Mehdiganj where more than ten thousand people were supposed to come. I was also invited there, so I thought that it would be a good start for Sanjeevni Booti’s work. I discussed about it with Lane and we decided that we would take survey of villagers about awareness of HIV and distribute pamphlets about basic knowledge of AIDS. Lane wrote matter for pamphlet and created questions for survey.

I got two thousand pamphlets and 200 survey sheet printed. I needed few other people to help me taking the survey so I asked my friend Raju, Sonu and Bablu, who are member also of Sanjeevni Booti, to come help me. Sonu got agreed at once but Raju and Bablu were busy with their work. But I needed few people to help me so I offered them their one day’s salary and Raju got agreed with this offer but Bablu still didn’t get agree. Lane paid for everything- pamphlets, survey sheet, traveling expenses etc…

I needed few girls also to take survey of other girls but I could not find one. I asked Nandlal if some of Lok Samiti’s female members could take survey of other females for Sanjeevni Booti, and Nandlal said that he will send two females with me. I reached at the wedding place but unfortunately Lok Samiti females were busy organizing wedding, so we could not take survey of any females. We did survey with over 80 people, and distributed one thousand pamphlets.

I was shocked to hear the answers of the villagers about AIDS. It seemed like they didn’t know anything. Few people told us that AIDS could spread through air, few said that if people make relations more than 5 times a day then they are more likely to get AIDS, few said that AIDS could be easily treated by medicines etc… Nobody knew that AIDS could spread by sharing shaving razor or needles. We asked them if any other NGO had ever met them to talk about AIDS and none of them said yes, it means that they had not talked about AIDS with anyone who can tell them reality.

We have huge number of AIDS cases in India and it is increasing rapidly because sex practices change as people start becoming rich, and our economy is booming rapidly. So I think number STDs would also increase rapidly in near future. I think government should do something otherwise we will have the most cases very soon, because we have huge number of people living in India. I think Indians are very open to new ideas, and use of condoms was never ever a issue for us, so I think we can control this disease easily. We just need to educate people.

Lane wrote the survey report and published it on Sanjeevni Booti’s webiste.

Group Wedding in Varanasi

Posted on May 5, 2008 by nandan

Lok Samiti organized a group wedding of 30 poor couples in Varanasi. The motive of this group wedding was to give secure future to the brides and promote dowry-free weddings. All the couples were so poor that they could not get married on their own. Usually groom side demands for dowry but nobody was allowed to ask for any dowry in this wedding. There were lots of gifts for both groom and bride but everything was arranged by Lok Samiti and other people who wanted to donate something.

I was also invited by Nandlal Master and was asked to donate something. I thought it could be a good start for my NGO work because about 10,000 people were supposed to come there. I and Lane discussed about it and decided that we would also give some gifts and take survey of villagers about awareness of AIDS. Giving clocks as a gift seemed a good idea to me because it stays for long time and people see them often. Lane was not sure about giving clocks as a gift because of research ethics issues but finally we came up with the same decision to give clocks.

Lane paid for everything- clocks, pamphlets, survey sheet, traveling expenses etc…� I bought 30 clocks and got Sanjeevni Booti’s name printed under glass of it. We packed it and put one pamphlet also in every packet. I asked Raju and Sonu, my friends and member of Sanjeevni Booti, to help me but Raju was busy with his job so I offered him his one day’s pay to come with me and he got agreed with this offer. I still wanted some girls to help taking the survey of other girls during wedding but I could not find one.

It was wedding’s day today and I reached there with Raju and Sonu. I saw Lok Samiti members decorating stage, arranging chairs, working with flowers etc….. They had food arrangement also for over 10,000 people. Lok Samiti had been preparing for this event since past one months. There were more than 10 chefs preparing sweets since past one week. I saw a lot of political leaders, social workers and other general people who wanted to donate something. Wife of Mehndiganj block’s representative had brought 30 Benaresi sarees to give to the brides.

thirty couples getting married together

Lok Samiti members invited to all the grooms and brides on the stage. There were thirty couples supposed to get married but two of them could not come because of some reasons, so only twenty eight got married . They all made garlands wear to each other and� this way formality of getting married was done. After this Nandlal Master came on stage with a paper where all the brides and grooms had to sign, actually most of them were uneducated so they just put their thumb on paper. Nandlal read the document first on mike, and then grooms and brides signed it.

Grooms and brides had to swear on mike that they would never fight to each other, they would always live together, grooms will never ever ask for any dowry and if they do any of those things then Lok Samiti would go through legal channel against them. After this all the grooms and brides moved to a nearby Shiva temple. They had music and family was dancing all the way from wedding place to the temple. In Hindu weddings bride and groom take round of fire seven times. It is said that Lord Fire becomes evidence of the wedding, but here there was no fire, they took round of Shiva temple and Shiva became evidence of the marriage.

After this wedding part was over and now it was people’s turn to give the gifts to the couples. I had brought clocks so I gave it to the them. I went on stage with Raju, Sonu and my driver and we all distributed� the clocks together to the couples. Few people gave sarees, watches, pots and other gift items. Lok Samiti gave one sewing machine to every bride and one bicycle to every groom. They say that bicycles and sewing machines will help brides and grooms to make some money on their own in the future. I liked this idea. Amanda, my American friend, also gave a sewing machine and two boxes of refined oil.

It was fun to see 30 couples getting married at same time, on the same stage. One thing was interesting to

She was not excited for her marriage

me that I saw three brides sleeping on stage, it seemed like they were excited for their marriage. Nandlal Master told me that they will continue organizing this kind of gruop weddings in future also. They are planning to get 51 couples married next year. I liked the way Lok Samiti got those couples married. Since everything was done on paper, I think groom side will not ask for any dowry or disturb brides in the future.