The people at the parade seemed really happy and energetic, special LGBT people. Delhi and Mumbai pride had music and many people were dancing whereas Chennai parade did not have any music but still people were singing something in Tamil, which I did not understand for sure, jumping, laughing and dancing. They were hugging each other and seemed so happy. There were all kinds of people: gay, lesbians and hijras. But I noticed one thing that Chennai parade had less lesbian couples when compared with Delhi and Mumabi parade and this parade seemed less open than Mumbai and Delhi one.

Participants of Delhi and Mumbai pride were much open in expressing their relations with their partners like they were holding hands of each other or just walking together which showed like they were a couple but Chennai pride did not have anything like this. The participants of Chennai pride were more like did not want people to know about their partner. I think since South India is more Hindu part and people are seen as more religious, maybe this is the reason why gays of Chennai want to hide their relations more than Delhi and Mumbai people. Anyways, I was happy that they at least organized such event.

I was talking with one of the organizers of the parade and he said that last year parade was bigger than this year but the important thing was that this year more community member participated whereas last year there were more outside supporters which increased the number of people in the parade. I had also noticed the same that Chennai parade did not have much outside supporters whereas Delhi and Mumbai had big number of supporters like students and families as well. The Marina beach area is a big picnic spot for Chennai people and since the parade was on Sunday, there were thousands of local people who watched the parade.

It was good the parade took place at such place where locals got the see the parade. I also distributed pamphlets to the people around and masks to the people who seemed interested in joining the parade but seemed confused. The usage of mask was on bigger level here in Chennai than Mumbai and Delhi. I saw a few people wearing two-three masks at the same time to cover their whole face. I talked with a few participants of the parade who were wearing the masks and they said that Chennai is still so conservative about gay culture hence they did not want others to know that they were also at the parade.

Their wording was” if others see them participating in the parade, they would think that they also have the same taste.” I know that gays are made of fun of all over the world and many people hate them just because of their sexuality but I expect the big cities to have a better view about gay culture but Chennai did not seem to have this better view for gays. I asked Mr. Annirdudhan Vasudevanthe, one of the organizers of parade, about the change in conditions after Delhi High Court decision of making gay relations legal and he said that there is some change for sure but not really much or not something that really changed the society.

Annirudhan was happy to say that at least people have started talking about it and now at least they know that there is something called “LGBT” community and they have also their rights. He said that the condition is not going to change really soon, it will take sometime but hopefully someday they will also have equal rights in the community. He said that LGBT community is discriminated everywhere in the country and they demand protection and medical health care to the government of the India. He said that many people think that homosexuality is a disease which can be cured by giving some special therapy which is just not true at all.

Annirudhan said that being homosexual is neither a fashion not abnormal at all, it is a natural process and anyone could be born with such human nature. I also believe the same. He talked about the Aligarh Muslim University’s professor Srinivas Siras who was found having sex with a same sex person and was suspended only because of this reason. Prof. Siras later committed a suicide because the university administration had funded a sting operation to video Prof. Siras having sex with a same sex partner.

Mr. Annirudhan said that even gay relations has been legalized in India but still Prof. Siras was punished. I was talking about the same matter with one of the participants and he said that said that government should ask the university about how they dared to record Prof. Siras personal life without his consent. Recording somebody’s personal life without without their consent is a punishable offense under Indian law because it comes under right of privacy act and government police should register a complaint against the university administration and punish them, not Prof. Siras.

I also think that it is true that nobody has rights to do such thing but again there are so many beautiful laws in India but implementation of these laws??? So many problems with gay community in India. I am happy that I came to attend the pride and I would like to come here again and hope that Chennai gay community will have less problems when I come here next year and there will be more support of outsiders as well. One thing is very sure that gay community will not be able to get equal rights in the society until we straight people support them so please come together to help our LGBT community and make a better world.

PICS AND VIDEOS WILL COME SOON, AS SOON AS I GET BACK HOME!

I was kind of surprised to hear that he did not have much time for his work. He was writing the article on a very controversial subject and I think he should have spent more time in Benares in order to come closer to the fact. Anyways, I think they did good job because they talked with few but right kind of people. I had an idea but was surprised to talk with the people in Mehndiganj. I was very well aware of the situation but thought it might get better this year but after talking with the people I realized that the situation is still the same as it was four years ago when I went there first time to work.

All of the people were still angry on Coke and government. They all said that Coke is responsible for lack of water in Mehdiganj and government is doing nothing against Coke. They said that situation has been getting worse and worse year by year which did not surprise me at all. We had less than average rain last year and I heard that Coke’s market increased within past one year in India which would of course cause more ground water shortage. Nandlal Master said that the committee constituted by Prime Minister of India to study the issue has submitted its report to the PMO but has not public it yet which sound strange to me.

Why not public the report is the study has been completed? Nandlal said that he has used RTI to ask when the report will be given to him and the concerned department replied him that they have asked the district magistrate to get him the report. It is okay if they are going to provide the report but I still do not understand why they tried to hide it? Why it was not given to the media? After all it is a big issue . So many questions again government and Coke both seem suspicious to me. Hopefully someday something will happen, but not sure when.

I never believe Indian police, private security guards work better than Indian police. I saw so many Sikh people for the interview, maybe more than half of the people for the interview were Sikhs, turban and beard everywhere. I had noticed something really strange on US embassy website which showed their special connection with Punjab. They have five different helpline numbers for four different regions of India. Actually they do not consider Punjab as part of North India, they have a separate number only for Punjab. On their website it is written: North India (except Punjab), very funny.

US embassy is no parking zone thus they do not allow any vehicle to even stop in front of the embassy. Even general public is not allowed to stand near the embassy. They want only and only people who have some business with embassy. First of all my papers were checked by the security staffs outside the embassy and then they allowed to get in the office. In the embassy the first thing happened with me was security check. They scanned each and everything I had, even my documents. After the security check they sent me to big hall where a lot of interviewees were already sitting.

Here one girl came to me and taught me about in which order I should keep my documents. Then she sent me to another officer who saw my documents and gave me a small receipt with my interview number mentioned on it. After this they asked me to wait for my number. My number came after 45 minutes. They were sending interviewees in group of 10 each time. I passed through a passage and arrived in a huge hall. I had to wait for 4-5 minutes here also and then my number came and I went to a counter where an Indian officer was sitting, most probably he was employee of US embassy VFS.

He just checked my documents and asked me a few questions which I had already mentioned while applying for the visa. I think he just wanted to make sure that I was the right person. After this one girl came to me who brought me to another counter and here I saw a foreigner first time. He wanted to take my finger print. There was a scanner where he asked me to put my both thumbs first and after scanning it rest of the fingers. It was first time in my life when my digital finger prints were taken. But I liked this idea better than putting ink on the finger then taking finger prints.

It had happened with me only a few months ago when I applied for my marriage certificate at Benares court. It made my thumb dirty. After taking the finger prints, they asked me wait for my number. I did not know what was going on as it was my first experience of any visa interview. I was just sitting, watching here and there, listening to the people… and finally my number came. I went to the counter and as saw a really professional looking person sitting at other side of glass and of course he was the visa counselor. His first question to me was where I wanted to go.

I told him Seattle and a few other cities and then he asked me why. I told him tourism and business and he smiled and said a little bit of both? He asked me several question within hardly two minutes. He knew a little bit of Hindi also. His last question to me was what was my income and I think here I failed. I told him how much money I made last year and then he wrote something in his computer, took booklet and passport and returned it to me saying that he could not give me the visa. I asked him why and he said that according to US laws I could not qualify for the visa.

I was really socked. I told him that my trip was entirely funded and I was going to stay with my friends therefore did not need much money for the trip but he said that those things doesn’t matter. I asked him what should I do next and he told me to try after a few years when my economical condition improves which indicated clearly that my income was less than what they expect from the visitors. Anyways, I was sad and left the embassy. I was so excited for this trip and I know that I was going get very good business if I would have gotten the visa but…

I do not blame US embassy or their policies for visas. I think everything was very well organized, staffs were super trained and everything looked so nice to me. The visa counselor was nothing but a robot. He did not have any attachment or detachment to me. He did what he was suppose to do and I respect him. And it was not the end of the world for me. I will try next year again when my economical condition will be better and I know it will be better for sure:)

After depositing the fee, I went on the US embassy website to schedule the appointment for my visa interview and US embassy website directed me to their VFS website. I filled up DS-160 form which was kind of a trouble because the connection would fail often and I had to start from the beginning. Even the website said that applicant should save each and every page before submitting it, means they also knew about this problem. It took me 2 days and at least 6-7 attempts but somehow I was able to fill up the form and submit it online.

After submitting this form I wanted to schedule the appointment for my visa interview and this was the worst part. I tried several days and several times each day but their website would always say that no date available for interview, please try again after 24 hours. After 4 or 5 days, I wrote to the VFS about this problem and it seemed like they did not read my mail carefully. Their mail seemed like a canned message which they send to many people for similar reasons but this mail did not answer my question.

Finally I made a telephone call to VFS and I was really surprised to hear their answer. They said that their website works only around 8 o;clock morning time so I should try to schedule my appointment around 8 o’clock in the morning time. I went online next day at 8 o’clock and found that the website was working and I booked my visa interview. It was not something really bad but I was not expecting for anything like this from US government services. I explained this problem to one of my sponsors of my trip and he said that I should write to the US embassy in India about this problem as he was sure that US embassy was not aware about such problem but still whenever I think about this problem, I always think about US government services.

Within a past weeks two things happened with me that made me think about it. Actually there was an old Neem tree in my neighborhood that died a few weeks ago and I was seriously sad about it as it was the only tree in my whole neighborhood.  I was talking about it with my friends and one of them told me that there was a girl from my neighborhood whose menstrual cycle was going on and she touched the tree and this touch killed the tree. I asked him how this could be possible and he said that since women are very very impure during their menstrual cycle, if they touch any plant, the plant dies of this touch.

The second incident that happened with me was I was working with a girl and we went to an ashram where there were only women living there. We went there to schedule the appointment for interviews in coming days. They asked us to come on the next day but when we were leaving the ashram, one of the women came and asked the girl with me if it was her menstrual cycle going on that day and incidentally it was her menstrual cycle days those days so she said yes. And right after hearing this this women asked her to not come to the ashram until her menstrual cycle days are over.

She became kind of angry and started telling me that now she would have to take a bath because she talked with this girl and touched her whose menstrual cycle was going on. I did not know what to tel her but her view was really strange for me. Anyways, I talked about it with a very educated woman who has very good knowledge of Hindu religion and she told me a really nice story. She said that once Lord Indra , the king of Gods, had to kill two Bramhins because of some reasons which was a very big sin and because of this sin Indra lost all of his supernatural power and his powers.

He wanted to hide himself and went to a river and hided himself under the water. His guru Brihaspati wanted to see him and could not find him. Finally he reached to the river where Indra was hiding. He met Indra and asked him the reason behind he hiding himself in the river and Indra explained him the reason. Indra requested his guru Brihaspati to help him getting rid of this sin and Brihaspati suggested him to find people would share his sin with himself. He said that this was the only way for him to get rid of the sin. Indra came out of the river and started looking for people who could agree to share this with him.

He asked so many characters but nobody agreed to help Indra but finally four characters agreed to help by sharing his sin: mountain, tree, river and women. Since all of these four characters shared the sin, all of them were cursed that they would become impure for certain time of days every year or every month. She said that sometimes the whole mountain or a certain part of the mountain’s appearance change every year when they turn a little bit red and it is sign of their menstrual cycle. There are a few trees which release glue kind of sticky thing which is sign of their cycle. This glue is used widely in India in pregnant women food.

She said that river’s cycle is for two months every year and this is the time when rivers foam a lot their current is very high, this is the sign of their cycle. And because of this cycle it is prohibited in Hinduism to take a bath in the rivers for two months every year. Only Ganga, Yamuna and Sarasvati rivers are all time pure rivers so no prohibition of taking bath anytime of the year, even when their cycle is going on. And we all know about women menstrual cycle. And since this cycle is result of the sin of killing two Bramhins, they are considered impure and are prohibited for many activities.

In most part of India, most of the women follow certain rules during cycle like they do not enter in the kitchen, do not touch their elders, sleep on the ground whereas their husbands sleep on the bed, do not take a bath for the first three days… Marwaris are more strict about it. They keep their women in a separate room and I have heard that more strict families they do not allow women to come out of their room. Nobody enters in their room and goes to talk with them. Only food is served in their room. They come out of their room on fourth day and take a bath.

The pots they use to take their food is purified lighting up a small fire in the pots or by just moving them around the fire and only then these pots are brought back in the kitchen. Fire is used to purify the pots because fire is considered to be the purest thing and it is believed that fire can purify anything, just anything. The women whom I talked with said women should respect the rules for monthly cycle and should not go out and should not do any hard physical labor. She said that all the companies selling napkin pads say in their advertisement that now women can out and do whatever they want even during their periods which is very bad, they should not do it.

I asked her what if a woman has a job and can not get a leave of three-four days each month. She thought for a while and said that we have to think about when these rules were made. She said that these rules were made thousands of years ago when there were no napkin pads available in the market and so it was not good for women to work during their periods but since a lot of women work now and obviously can not get a leave every month, they should not stop themselves from working but they should make sure they are not doing anything which is hard physical labor for them like weight lifting, jumping or playing…

She said that even science also says the same thing. She said that women should see their periods as God gifted vacations of three days every month and should enjoy this. But I was wondering how they can enjoy their vacations if they are not even allowed to come out of their rooms or talk with others. She said that if women do not respect the rules, they may be punished with sickness or diseases in the future. I don’t really know much about human body but I love to hear about human body science and always want to learn about it and this story was very interesting for me.

I am really surprised to see such writings present in our sacred texts which were written thousands of years ago. I am seriously in love of those people who wrote these things, just don’t have any idea whether these stories are true or not but one thing is very sure that the writer was super smart. His imagination power would have been just awesome. Hats off to you my dear Hindu sacred text writers!!

Irene had already heard about Bhajan Ashrams (ashrams where chantings are organized) working in Vrindavan and she wanted to visit them and see if it was possible to interview women there. I had also heard about widows working at Bhajan Ashrams before but I had no about idea of how big and how many Bhajan Ashrams were there in Vrindavan. I think there was at least one ashram in each alley and few of them were really huge, having three-four thousand widows under same roof.

These bhajan ashrams are run by rich religious people. They give Rs. 2+a little bit of rice and a little bit of lentils to each widow chanting for three hours. They have two to three shifts of work. The first shift start around 8 o’clock in the morning time whereas last shift of work ends around 6 o’clock in the evening. Not just any widow can enter in any bhajan ashram and start chanting and then get some money. They have to get registered with the ashram first and then their timing is decided and only then they can work.

There are thousand of widows living in Vrindavan and most of them, over 90% come from Bengal and did not speak any Hindi. Some of them live in government widow ashram, some of them stay at private ashrams, some of them have rented a room and  some just sleep somewhere on the road or along the river Yamuna. Over 95% of the widows living in Vrindavan make their living from working at bhajan ashrams and begging. All of these women go to bhajan ashrams in the day time and then beg in evening and morning time when there are more pilgrims going to the temples.

Vrindavan is also called city of temples, there are around 5,000 temples in Vrindavan and this city is considered as a holy place amongst Hindus so hundreds of thousands of people visit the city every year. And since people visit the city for religious purpose, people donate a lot of things which makes Vrindavan a good place for begging. It was very sad to see the number of beggers in Vrindavan. I think most of the widows living in Vrindavan are involved in begging.

We asked them why did they chose Vrindavan only, why not some other place like Varanasi or Haridwar as they are also sacred cities for Hindus and most of them said that since Vrindavan is very popular amongst Bengalis, most of the Bengali widows come to Vrindavan. We asked them why Vrindavan is popular and most of them did not know the reason behind it but one lady who was not a widow told us a very interesting story about why Vrindavan is popular amongst Bengali people.

She told us a story of two brothers who used to work as a cashier at some king’s palace. Once they were working at the king’s palace and while working they ordered a glass of water with sugar but by mistake the servant mixed salt instead of sugar and gave the drink to those two brothers. They drank it and did not realize that there was salt instead of sugar because they were too much busy with their work. But later when the servant realized that he had made this mistake by giving salty drink instead of sugar, he went to those two brothers to say sorry.

He told those two brothers that they he had mixed salt instead of sugar in their water but those two brothers did not believe. The servant told them again the same thing and then these brothers asked to the servant that if he had mixed salt instead of sugar then how come they did not feel it while drinking it. And the servant answered that since they were too much busy in their work, they did not realize if there was sugar or salt in the water. Both brothers were shocked to hear this and this feeling changed their whole life.

They thought if they would have worked with same honesty to find the God, the way they had been working for the king, they could have found God. This was the moment when they decided to leave the materialistic life and devote themselves completely to the God. They left their job and came to Vrindavan, which used to be a jungle those days, to meditate and devote themselves completely to the God. They became so popular amongst people that king of India decided to meet them. When the king came to see these brothers, they were sitting on a ghat along Yamuna river and meditating.

The king told to one of the brothers that he was so happy with their devotion to the God and wanted to do something for them. He offered any king of help of money they wanted. These brothers asked the king to get the broken stones repaired at the ghat. The king started laughing and went to see the ghat. But when he arrived there he found that this whole ghat was made of precious stones. These stones were that expensive which were not available even in the palace of the king. At that moment he realized the supernatural powers of those brothers and immediately went back to them and said that he had realized his mistake of offering just anything.

He said that he was unable to give them what they already had but he still wanted to give something to them. He said to those brothers to that he would donate them all the land they could see from their eyes at once. One of the brothers stood up and looked around and finally all the land they could see from eyes by standing at one place was donated to them and this what land what we call Vrindavan now. So the people meant to say that the city Vrindavan was established by Bengalis and this is why it is so popular amongst Bengalis, very interesting story.

We could interview only ten women in a city where there were thousands of widows because most of these widows did not know any Hindi and I did not know their language. Anyways, we visited government widow ashram also. There were two government run widow ashrams- one run by central government and other one was run by state government of UP. The ashram run by central government seemed more organized that state government one. It was new building with at least 500-600 rooms. There were about 2700 widows living in the same building.

We met a government employee there who was working as a helper. We asked for permission to take interviews and he seemed fine with it. He said that all the widows staying in the building come to him everyday in the morning time to get free grains which is provided to them by the government. He said that we could interview them when they come. We were just sitting there and I notice a lady watching us another building. She called me and started asking me why were there and when I told her about Irene’s research she said that it was not allowed.  She asked us to go to the district magistrate and get a permission from him.

It seemed really strange but we could not do anything. We did not understand why she was stopping us. Then we went to the biggest Bhajan ashram of Vrindavan but same thing happened there as well, they did not allow us to talk with the widows there. Finally we reached to the state government run widow ashram and met the security guard of that building and explained him about the project. He was a really nice guy. He said that the officers were not at the ashram now and told us to complete the interview before she comes back.

I asked him why he was telling us to complete the interview before the officer arrives and he said that officers do not allow anyone to talk with widows living there. I asked why they don’t allow and he answered that since both of the officers working at the ashram were completely corrupt and eat the pension money which comes for the widows, they do not want others to know about it. I was seriously to hear this. He said that government provides monthly pension to the widows but these officers keep half of it for their enrichment and give only half to the widows.

He said that first of all they ask for Rs. 300 to all the widows just to get them their pension registration card and then they say that it takes about a year for pension to start and in fact registration is free and the pension is started only within a few days. He meant to say that the officers keep whole of first year pension money for themselves and then start the pension from second year and they give only half of it. We asked him how many widows were living at that ashram and he said about 300 which means these government officers steal Rs. 90,000 per month.

He said that they give a few percentage to other government officers also like the district magistrate and other people but most of the money goes to them. I was seriously shocked to hear all of these stories. I just could not believe how someone can take money of those poor women who work for only Rs. 2 and a little bit of grains everyday? Anyways, now I knew the reason why that other government officer at central government run widow ashram did not want us to interview women living there. It was very sad but this was the truth.

We realized that it was very difficult to interview the women living at ashrams so we decided to interview the women who live independently. We started visiting widows at their homes and started talking with women on the road or living in small ashrams. All of them had seriously sad stories. Most of them were married at very early age and their husband also died soon after the marriage, they were not allowed to study and finally they decided to leave the home and come to Vrindavan. Some of them left the home because their children did not cared about them.

We interview a few Bengali women who said that they stay for about 11  months in Vrindavan, save some money and grains and then go back to visit their family and give all of their savings to their children. We noticed something really interesting that idea of reason of their widowhood is sin in their past life was not so popular amongst Bengalis whereas widows from North India had this strong belief that the reason of their widowhood in the present life is because of the sin they had done in their past lives.

Most of the North Indian people believe that biggest discrimination with widows happen in Bengal region but the Bengali woman whom we talked with said that they never felt discriminated. It was really strange to hear them saying this. I think that they do not see the discrimination as a discrimination, they think that this is the way it should be. Anyways, we all know that widows are discriminated all over India, but the biggest discrimination is there in Bengal region.

We got to interview a few Hindi speaking non-Bengali women also. We asked them why did they choose Vrindavan and they said that since Vrindavan has a lot of Bhajan ashrams where at least Rs.2 with some grains is provided, it was a good option for them come to Vrindavan instead of dying at their place. It was a very interesting answer but I do not know at what extent it was true. We interviewed a few widow women who said that it is much better to stay in the in home and find a job rather than going to an ashram and live like a beggar. I liked this idea better.

We asked all the widows about remarriage of widows and we noticed something really interesting that most of the widows who were close to 70 years old said that remarriages should happen but all the widows who were close to 40 or 50 said that remarriage of a widow a big sin. They believe that the God has given them punishment in form of their widowhood life and they should respect it because if they do not respect it then they will go to hell and will become widow again in their next life so it is much better to live like a widow in one life rather going to hell and become a widow again in the next life.

I think the reason behind older women believing in the idea of remarriages was they had already seen their whole life and now they were alone and helpless so they they think that it is much better to remarry and have a family whereas young widows can take care of themselves hence they believe in living alone. Anyways, it is only my idea, I still do not understand what could be the reason behind it. After coming back from Vrindavan we decided to contact some religious person to ask him questions about what is there in Hindu sacred texts for widows.

We met a woman who had done her Ph.D. in Sanskrit and works as a katha speaker at several temples and ashrams in and out of Varanasi. We asked what could be the reason behind a woman becoming widow and she told us several interesting things about what is written about widows in Hindu sacred texts. She said according to Hindu texts if you try to disturb a couple or make them marry with someone else forcibly, this could also cause you loose your life partner in your next life. I asked her what if man does it and she said that rules are same for men and women both so men can also be punished in the same way.

The second reason could be if you are married but you have relations with other people. There are two kinds of punishment for this sin- one is that when you go to the hell, you have to make relations with a burning iron body and you could loose your life partner in your next life. She said that making relations while menstrual cycle could also be a reason of widowhood in next life. All of these reasons seemed genuine to me made one thing clear that love marriages are accepted in Hinduism and there is a very hard punishment for accepting it. I think the parents who do not want their children to marry with their girlfriend or boyfriend should think about it now, otherwise they could become a widow in their next life:)

After studying Hindu widows in Vrindavan and Varanasi, I have developed this impression that the widows who decided to stay with their family and find a job, every small, are much more happier than those widows who decide to stay at Ashrams or go begging. I do understand where did this idea of staying at ashrams and discriminating widows come from, but the situation is very sad and corrupt government officers make the situation more sad. Again I see only one solution of this problem- education, education to women. I believe that if women are educated and have working skills, they can at least try to find a good job and live a better and happy life. But lets see when government of India will become serious about education for women.

By mistake I went to the some other police office instead of DIG office. I went there and told a police officer about the certificate I wanted and then he asked me why I wanted this certificate and explained him the reason that I had completed tour guide training and now I need a police verification certificate in order to get my license. After hearing that I was a tour guide, this policeman told me- Oh, so your profession is to make tourists fool and fuck them. I was really angry to hear this, I said my profession is a tour guide and then he said that its similar.

After asking a few other questions he gave me right address of the DIG office. I went to the DIG office and I was really surprised to see the condition of the office. The office was so dusty and  dark. I met the officer who issues police verification certificate and he gave me a form and asked me a fill it and submit it along with other documents. I was told by my local police station to take care of this officer means to give him some money so I gave him Rs. 100. After taking this bribe he told me to contact my local police station after two days.

He said that he will send my application to my local police station and they will verify my residence and other documents and then they will send their report back to the DIG office. I contacted my local police station and my application had arrived at the local police station. The officer at local police station asked me to bring all of my documents. After seeing all of my documents, he said that it was not enough. He needed a domicile certificate issued by the court which I did not have and I knew that it would have taken me over 15 days just to get this certificate.

I had given him xerox of my passport also which was enough but he said that domicile was necessary. Fortunately there was an advocate sitting in the office who favored me and said to the police officer that passport is also equivalent to domicile certificate.  Finally this police officer agreed to accept my documents after advocate’s interference. He asked me to wait for a few minutes. After that advocate was gone he again started looking at my documents and after reviewing them for a few minutes he told me that they would send someone at my place within next one week or so and after verifying my residence they will send their report to the DIG office.

I knew why he needed one week of time. I asked him if I was supposed to give him something and then he said that such works are not done without paying. I was told by few of my friends that I should give Rs. 500 to the local police station so I gave him Rs. 500 but this police officer started saying that Rs.500 was not enough as there were 5-6 people to take a share in that money. Finally we agreed on Rs. 700. After taking this money something happened that I had never ever hoped for. This police officer taught me the right way to bribe.

He taught me that I should always take care of who is sitting in the office and try to bribe when there are not many people around and never ever tell this to any other officer working in the same office, very valuable information. Actually I had told him about that officer in DIG office who took Rs. 100 from me and this local police station officer said that I should not tell to any other officer about whom I have already bribed.  Anyways, after taking bribe of Rs. 700 he said that my documents will be forwarded to the DIG office by the same evening.

I went to the DIG office and then DIG office said that they would send my documents to the LIU (Local Intelligence Unit) now. My documents arrived at LIU office after a few days and when I went there, same thing happened what had happened with me at local police station. First of all they said that they would send someone at my home to verify my residence but when I asked them how much I was supposed to give, the officer asked for Rs. 500 and said that nobody would come to my place anymore and my documents will be forwarded to DIG office by the same evening.

But something really funny happened while I was sitting in the LIU office. Actually I got a call on my mobile at my guest house inquiry and this officer heard me talking. After the phone call he asked me if I run a guest house also and I told him about my guest house and he asked me I had a restaurant in my guest house or not and I said no. And he asked me where do my guests eat and I told him that usually they go out and after hearing it, he seemed kind of sad and told me he would have loved coming to my place for a meal if I had a restaurant.

I told him that I lived with my family and we cook our own food and he was also invited if he wanted to have dinner with us and he said no, he was looking for some restaurant cooked hot chicken with whiskey.  I obviously said ‘No’ to him but I was really surprised how someone could be that stupid? Anyways, after bribing him, I left the office and came back home. LIU office had told me that they would forward my documents to the CO office. CO office is kind of regional police office. I think there are 5 or 6 CO offices in whole Benares district.

I contacted CO office after two days and this office was also nothing better than other offices I had been to. I met an officer at CO office and he told why I had applied for my character certificate. I explained him my purpose and then he said that they had already checked my day time character but they did not know anything about my night time character. He said that- Now we know about your day time character but we do not know about how many woman and prostitutes do you sleep with in the night or how many bars do you visit every night.

He said the same thing to other officers also sitting in the office that they had checked my day time character but did not know anything about my night time character and after hearing it, all of them were laughing. One of them said they should check my time character also. I was seriously shocked and did not know what to tell him. I could not believe that a police officer could talk in such manner. Anyways, I asked him check my night time character also and then he asked me to contact them after a week or so. I again knew why he needed to check my night time character and why he was asking for one more week.

I immediately asked him about the bribe and he also the said same thing what officer at the local police station had told me that such works are not done without money. Anyways, I asked him how much and he said just give anything. I gave him Rs. 200 and asked when they would check my night time character and they said that there was no need to check the night time character and my documents would be forwarded to SP ( Superintendent of Police) office by the same evening. I contacted SP office next day and the officers said that they will present me before SP tomorrow.

I went to the SP office next day and I waited for SP for an hour and finally I was presented before him. He just looked at my face and asked me why I needed a character certificate and that’s all.  I hardly got to talk with him a few seconds but just for this I had to wait for a hour at his office. I requested him to forward my documents as soon as possible and he was very nice with it. He immediately asked his PA to bring my documents, signed and stamped it and said that my work was done. After meeting him I contacted his PA and asked if I needed give something to him also and he asked me to come next day and see if my work was done.

He did not want to take the bribe until my documents were forwarded to the next office. I went to the office again next day he said that he could not do it. I again contacted him after two days and this time my documents were already forwarded back to DIG office. Now I was sure that I was going to get my character certificate because all the formalities were done and I had bribed all the offices. When I went to the DIG office, the officer there said that they could not issue my character certificate until some other big police office stamped my documents. He also asked me to contact him after a week.

I again knew why he needed one more week. I gave him Rs. 300 and requested him to do my work faster and then he gave me the address of that other police officer whose office was also in the same building premises. He asked me to go this office and wait until the officer come and inform him as this officer arrived. I went to this office, waited for hours in the terrible heat and finally this officer showed up after three hours. I informed about it to the officer at DIG office and then this officer brought my documents to the this big police officer, got it signed and stamped and then gave my character certificate.

This character certificate was nothing special but a really small piece of paper saying that there was no legal case against me. It seemed like they had not printed new character certificate for the year 2010 but the year mentioned on the paper was 2009 and the officer had to correct by pen. I still think about all the craziness and corruption I had face,  the way they misbehaved me saying that my profession is to make tourists fool and fuck them, one officer said they did not know about how many woman and prostitutes I sleep with…

I had to spend Rs. 1700 just to get this character certificate which should be given for free of cost. I had to wait for almost a month and go to all those crazy police offices several times. Just to get this small piece of paper I had to go to DIG office>local police station>DIG office>LIU>CO office>SP office>DIG office>that big police officer’s office>DIG office. I got my character certificate and later I presented it to the Ministry of Tourism office in Delhi and got my license but when I think all the corruption and those people working at police offices and those officers who approved my documents and my character certificate, it makes me feel like my character certificate was issued my the most characterless people on the planet.

I really liked that decision. But right before a few days of tilak (the day when bride’s family goes to the groom’s family and some rituals are done), the bride’s family started asking for dowry. They wanted Rs. 51,000 cash, a motorbike, jeweleries, clothes, refrigerator, TV, bed and a lot of other things. I knew that the bride’s parents did not have enough money to give that much dowry but did not say that they could not afford it. They promised to give this much of dowry but I know that it would be hard for the bride’s family to arrange it.

I was talking with the bride and she told me that she talked about it with the groom and groom said that he did not want anything at all, no demand. All these demands were made by his father and he could not do anything to reduce this dowry. The bride seemed so sad when talking about dowry and I also did not like this at all. I  see bride’s father somehow trying to arrange everything but I know that it would be very hard for him to arrange everything.

After a few days of the tilak, groom’s father called the bride’s father and said that the groom had already bought a motorbike so there was no need to give a motorbike but they wanted cash instead of the motorbike. The bride’s father said that if the groom already had a motorbike then why they were asking for cash but the groom’s father said that they wanted either a motorbike or cash instead of it. After paying all of this dowry, the bride’s family have to arrange party which will cost at least Rs. 1,50,000. So the total costing of this wedding will be close to Rs. 3,00,000 which is kind of impossible for the bride’s family.

There are so many cases where bride’s were burnt alive right after a few months of the marriage only because their parents could not give enough dowry what was asked by the groom’s family. I have heard of many cases where the groom’s family tortured the bride even their demand was fulfilled and finally the bride was burnt alive or killed in some way. Many times the bride’s themselves commit suicide because of the torture. Many times even after facing all the tortures, some brides do not inform about it to other people or do not go to the police because they think that if they go to police and if police takes any legal action against the groom’s family, it would look very bad for them in society.

I never understand if such marriages are marriages or they just like a business settlement where one party always looses everything. It would make sense to me if the dowry was given by groom’s family but bride’s family, why? They give their daughter who will take care of groom’s family for her whole life, is it not enough? Is it cheaper than a motorbike or Rs. 51,000 cash? So many questions and it is painful to see how this system is getting stronger and stronger. Now people want more and more dowry. I know many people do not want to have a daughter because they are afraid of dowry. I don’t know when such things will change or if they will ever change or not, but it must change if we want to see real happy and developed world.

Next day I took her to another ashrams where more than 2,000 people stay to live their last part of the life. This ashram has a section for Sanyasis and a separate section for family people. The ashram was huge with so many people in there and there was a school also for Sanskrit studies. We visited this ashram but did not photograph. The next day we went to a place called Kashi Mukti Bhawan which really different than other places in Benares. Benares has so many places and ashrams where people stay to die but this place was entirely different.

Kashi Mukti Bhawan is owned by Dalmia family. The idea behind foundation of this hospice is that once Mr. Dalmia was visiting Varanasi and he visited so many ashrams where people stay to die. His grandmother also wanted to live her last part of the life in Varanasi so he decided to built a free temporary stay for the people who want to die in Varanasi. Kashi Mukti Bhawan has a rule which could sound strange but they offer only 14 days of stay. So most of the people come to stay at Kashi Mukti Bhawan are the people who are just going to die at any moment.

They do not allow anyone who is below 60 years old or looks like not dying. The building has ten rooms and when I went there was only room with people, rest of the rooms were vacant. They have a temple also inside the building where they have puja going on most of the time. The manager said that until four years ago they did puja 24 hours a day but they decreased few hours because not many people come anymore. In the past all the rooms used to be full all the time but now sometimes they have only one visitor, sometimes two or three and sometimes just no one.

And if there is a person dying there, then the priest of the temple goes to the this person and reads Ram Charit Manas for him at least for five minutes at four different times in a day. The idea behind it is that if a dying person hears the chantings of Ram Charit Manas, then he gets salvation. We interviewed a woman staying at Kashi Mukti Bhawan who had brought her father all the way from Sasaram, Bihar to Kashi Mukti Bhawan so that her father could die in Varanasi and get salvation. We asked her why she chose only Kashi Mukti Bhawan in Varanasi, why not some other ashram and she said that all of her family members come to Kashi Mukti Bhawan to die, very interesting.

She also talked about importance of dying in Varanasi but at the same time she gave some importance to Kash Mukti Bhawan also. She said that Kashi Mukti Bhawan has ideal atmosphere for dying. She said that Kashi Mukti Bhawan has chanting all day long and the priests read Ram Charit Manas for dying person which makes it a special place for dying. We asked the manager about why they allow only 14 days of stay and he said that 14 days are enough to die. In case if the person is still sick and feel like going to die even after 14 days, they allow them to stay for a week or two more but usually people die within a week.

The manager said that in some cases people came and returned back home by recovering from their sickness. So they came to Kashi Mukti Bhawan with serious sickness and felt like dying but they recovered and did not die. Well, in any case Kashi Mukti Bhawan seemed different than most of the other ashrams in Varanasi and I would like to learn more about it.